I Need an App…
because it’s the closest thing to steroids for my business…without actually selling steroids.
I need SEO…
because unlike a new litter of puppies, duplicate content is not adorable.
I need web developer
Because I found my Masonry Grid.....jarring. I'll see myself out.
I need web developer
because the only java I know comes in regular and decaf.

I Need a Website made
because someone asked me about my Custom Style Class and I said “business casual.”
I need web developer
because my HTML5 is stuck in 3rd
I need web developer
because my logo image source is “search-ms:displayname=Imported%20Pictures%20and%20Videos&crumb=location:C%3A%5CUsers%5Cpc%5CPictures%5CLogo”

I didn’t think that I needed a website.
But when a client tried to finger swipe my brochure to see more pictures, I thought it was time.
I need SEO…
because unless you are on a trampoline, no one likes a high bounce rate.

I Need a Website
... because my Facebook is too personal, my Twitter is too simple, my LinkedIn is a mess and my Instagram is full of FOOD!

I knew I was behind the times…
...when a client asked me if I “tweet” and I said I was always more a Sylvester guy.
I need SEO…
because I’m a web vegan and only consume 100 percent organic content.
I Need an App…
because the same finger that could dial our number could “buy it now” from the app.

I Need a Website …
because my flyers were called “retro” by a young customer.

I need a website . . .
because I need to show people my
inventory, not just my CV.
I need SEO…
because I asked my intelligent personal assistant to go to my site and it said, “And you are?”
I Need an App…
because it’ll be easier to promote new products via push notifications…and my haikus.

I Need a Website …
I need a professional website because I hate it when I give out my site as www.freedomain.com/archive/free/plain/unoriginal.html
I need SEO…
because my website is so well hidden, I can’t even find it.
I Need an App…
because I want my business to be in their pocket and access their back pocket (or whatever pocket they keep their wallet).
I need SEO…
because my keywords are so bad their random-key-that-I-don’t-know-what-it-goes-to-that-I-found-in-a-draw-words.

I Need a Website
because I couldn’t find my business card and a kid yelled “404 Page Not Found.” I’m not sure what it means but I know a website would help.
I knew I was behind the times…
...when I thought it was rude that a client asked me for my FAQ. I said FAQ you too :)

I knew I was behind the times…
...when a client asked me for my contact and look puzzled because I said “but I need them to see.”
I Need an App…
because when I tell clients I’m not in the app store they stick one-star stickers to my forehead.

I need a professional website
Because a client asked for a banner ad and laughed when I said the front of my business wasn’t big enough for a banner.
I Need an App…
because my competition has one with a dinosaur game…I’m the dinosaur.
I need SEO…
because I’m tired of people thinking my business phone number starts with 404.
I Need an App…
because people using their phones while in the restroom is a key demographic.
I need web design because
apparently putting GIF flames on all pictures is not cool anymore.
I need web design because
When asked if I was going to have any Flash Content, I said it wasn't an adult site.
I Need an App…
because then spending time on my phone is tax deductible (editor’s note: probably not.)
I need SEO…
because it’s the safest way to play in busy traffic.
I need SEO…
because I can’t think of a good keyword for a key maker that doesn’t involve keys.
I need SEO…
because my search results listing is so low my server is on anti-depressants.
I need web developer
Because I can't remember the login to my geocities account.

I need my own domain name
because I don’t like being asked how I like working for gmail.com or Hotmail.
I need web design because
Cause when I client asked if it was Retina ready, I said you can look at it with any eyes.
I need web developer
because my C++ is more of a D minus
I need web developer
Because when they asked if I wanted to see the mock up I said “No, it's a serious site.”
I need web design because
When a co-worker asked if I had Skeuomorphism I said I felt fine.
I need web design because
I truly am a photoshop artist....Jackson Pollack
I need web developer
because I think the term “User backend” is a euphemism.

I need a professional website…
...I just realised the 9000 flyers I just got printed have the wrong phone number on them. Need any scrap paper?
I Need an App…
because preparing my business for the future didn’t mean building a time machine…. sadly.
I need web design because
I want my site to be lion! It's currently a small dog that's been frightened by thunder and wee'd on the carpet.
I need SEO…
because no one ever said “Awww, I wish this page loaded slower.”
I need web design because
My CSS is a mess, my HTML is shakey, my PHP is out the door and I'm afraid I'm SOL!

I need a professional website
Because a client asked me what customer management system I used and I said index card.

I need my own domain name and email address.
It’s awkward to tell people to send their inquiries to SuperStudMuffin64@hotmail.com
I Need an App…
because I need to connect with those on the go so potential sales don’t go with them.

I Need a Website
because the only thing the yellow pages are good for is swatting flies, holding open doors and tests of strength with body builders.
I need SEO…
because “please” is not the keyword that’ll get me to the top of the search results.
I need SEO…
because up till now I thought SEO stood for Send Emergency Oreos. I kinda wish it still did.
I need web design because
As a web designer I make a damn fine astronaut.
I need web developer
because when I was asked about ideal pixel size....I said about an inch/centermeter
I Need an App…
because playing tic-tac-toe via a fax machine has been deemed “too hipster” of a mobile game.
I need web design because
I can't find the bedazzler for fonts...and nor should I.

I Need a Website …
because when people google me all they get is my blog of poetry. From high school.
I Need an App…
because everyone has a phone in their pocket and no room for a spandex wearing sign twirling person.

I need a professional website
...to give the latest information to my clients instead of getting them the information late.
I Need an App…
because I also want to be able to scroll through our products on my phone instead of engaging in conversation in public.
I Need an App…
because I want better word-of-mouth marketing than “What? You don’t have an app?”
I need SEO…
because I don’t want my site to be John Cena.
I need web design because
When I showed my friend my site he said “Oh, cute, you five year old made his first website.”
I need web developer
Because my host needs cookies, and I can't bake.
I Need an App…
because our company needs to be in the hands of our clients, literally and figuratively.
I Need an App…
because it’s the closest a business can get to being in the consumers home…without police being involved.
I need SEO…
because not even a golfer could make out my backlinks.
I need SEO…
because my competitor offered to pay me to keep it as bad as it is.

I need a professional website made
because when I googled the one I made the search result was “Did you mean NO?”